“I’m starting with the man in the mirror”
Being honest with ourselves is probably one of the most powerful and liberating things we can do and yet one of the most challenging things we rarely do. There are a lot of reasons for this; pride, ignorance, insecurity, stubbornness, fear and the list goes on. We end up sabotaging ourselves with our beliefs, decisions, actions and addictions and never live the life we were born to live. Our dreams stay dreams and we live frustrated.
What aren’t we honest about? Our reality, our abilities, our possibilities, our strengths and weakness, that we may be stuck, why we’re stuck, what got us stuck, how to get unstuck and our happiness just to name a few.
I’ve spent a lot of my life doing things I really liked, some I even loved. It’s important for me to not regret the things I’ve done, or wish I had done something different. I was the co-founder of a motivational speaking company, a staff pastor (I’m still a credentialed minister), and I became the team leader and CEO of a struggling real estate company that was on its way to going out of business and was able to help turn it around, see it thrive and become profitable during a down turn in the market.
When I finally slowed down long enough to be honest with myself I realized that although I really liked what I was doing, it wasn’t what I knew I was born to do. So I made a decision to live the rest of my life doing it. Being honest with ourselves isn’t a one-time thing. It should be consistent, daily, sometimes hour by hour.
Here’s how I did it:
Slow down: Slowing down in today’s fast paced, instant society is a difficult discipline. Take the time to evaluate your life, being honest with where you are, where you want to go and how you’re going to get there. You can get up earlier, stay up later or take a break in the middle of the day but you must make the time, not find the time. You won’t find the time, you have to make it. This could be the first step of being honest with yourself.
When I slowed down, I discovered my passion to encourage people, instill hope, get focused and create a plan to help them live a passionate, purpose filled life. In other words, to HELP THEM WIN!
Focus on your future: Where you want to go, who you want to become, and what you want to accomplish in your personal and professional life is crucial. We call it your “Why” and it’s the most powerful motivation you have. When you focus and commit to your future you will be open to being honest with yourself about where you are and what you need to do to get there. If you’re not clear on your future – do what you need to do to get clear. Again, this is a great opportunity to be honest with yourself.
Ask the hard questions:
What do I love?
What do I care about?
What’s important to me?
Am I happy?
Am I where I need to be?
Am I the best one to do this?
What are my biggest challenges?
Am I on pace to reach my goal?
On a scale of 1-10 (10 meaning fantastic) how would I rate ________?
Your chances of succeeding are in direct proportion to being honest with yourself when you answer the hard questions.
Get Help: It could be a coach, a trainer, a therapist, a mentor, a personal trainer, whoever you feel you can open up to.
When I was training for the Ironman I signed up for the Half Ironman race eight weeks before the full. I thought it would be a great training day since I would be doing all of the events including the transition. I thought I would get a pretty good feel for where I was in my training. Although I finished, it was a real eye-opener. I realized I was not even close to being ready for the full Ironman. I was afraid I didn’t have time to get ready. I had to be honest with myself to do what I needed to do to finish. So, I hired a coach and focused on what I needed to do to finish.